3 Little Words……..“I Love You” comes first to my mind- some folks find it hardest to say. Harder for me has been “Please Help Me.” I found the mindset that woman could do anything they set their mind to do and still believe that now. Many years ago I took this to an extreme by living in a house with no running water, an outhouse (I dug) and the only source of cooking and heat was the woodstove. I cut and split my own wood (with help) and lived there for a year carrying water home every day. You would never have known how I lived if you had seen my 100lb sweet self. I decided to opt for easier life and moved in town with all the luxuries. Three months later I had the car accident that changed my life. I was grateful for immediate help and I healed in my way. Things that drove me crazy were things like not being strong enough to open a window, open a stuck or heavy door or just get the lid off of a jar. I did grasp how lucky I was but “Please Help Me” was the hardest lesson.
Halloween Picture of my parents from a 1967.
The main themes in my life recently have been the understanding and letting go (or not) of attachments, mostly to things. Three years ago, I inherited the house my parents had lived in and loved for the last 35 years. It needed a lot of work, particularly dealing with water. If you dam water up it find another way to flow- emotions work the same way I think. Recently with the news in Sandy’s wake, we are well aware of what water can do!
I believe the house issues are in a stable state now but this exercise has showen me that taking care of the house and yard really is more than I can physically (and financially) support. I have loved this house and all the happy and trying times spent here. My parents loved it and the 1/2 acre yard. Dad had fabulous plantings of organic vegtables and beautiful flowers. His beds were never straight but a labryinth of circles and curves. I have noted before that I believe my Father’s approach to rolling with life was “When in doubt, turn the compost.” The rabbits now have a warren where his compost used to be. Ten years ago when he passed, his friends planted a Magnolia tree in his memory because he always wanted one. Now it towers high, producing those creamy white fragrant blossoms. How do I leave Dad’s tree? Mom and I put his ashes around it The reality of how little humans leave behind when they pass away- except stuff. Things my Mother treasured are of no real value or meaning to me- so do we continue to carry this stuff just because?
I have taken the path of sending the majority of belongings on to others through sale or donation. I have gotten to help some local charities I believe in which feels good. Like many of you I have seen my collection of books as friends that have been with me for years for reference or just seeing them reminds me of a lesson or event. My Father also collected books but his are cloth bond , old and fragile. Most I can’t sell for the price it would take to ship them. Again something treasured for years which has no tangible value. So far I have invited friends to come and take books that interest them – about 15 boxes gone so far. Books have been the hardest so far.
Getting the house ready to show is an odd experience because I removed all the personal pictures and nick-nacks that litter my life. It looks like my house but different. well folks ending for today. I am glad to blog again. I have not even had time to read blogs and I miss the snapshots of other lives from the blogosphere.
I find it a wonder each year as the chlorophyll goes away to reveal the internal color of the leaves. This Maple is the first red tree I have seen in Asheville, NC. You can see the hills in the background are still green. Below is the YouTube of a song I sing every year since I was a girl when I would sing it with my Dad.
